The Nepenthe You Don't Need

What am I doing?

It has been a hell of a day,
Facing you but never hearing a word from you

Nepenthe? 

Why do I need such a drug
when I see you happy?
Shouldn’t I be happy, too?

You left me in a labyrinth of pain
in a place where there is no escape from,
this situation suffocates me:
Seeing the idyllic scenario
with you and here
I can hardly breath
I think I am about to burst out of mixed emotions
Ambivalence;
the rain pours down through my eyes-
obscuring my vision
Help, no one needs Nepenthe more than I do